The Weatherman

I know Texas has a reputation for weather changing all the time with almost no notice. I’m sure every state says the same thing about their own weather. Here in Texas it has been unbearably humid and hot over the last couple of weeks. Maybe it’s because we just aren’t used to it and never really got a transition period from cold to hot. Maybe it’s because I’m a giant baby who likes to complain about the weather.

I’m no weatherman, but this is ridiculous. I can’t go outside for more than 10 minutes without being drenched in sweat. No clouds, lots of sun, super hot, and thick humidity.

The next day is full of thunderstorms and lightning and rain and wind and TERRIBLE DRIVERS THAT APPARENTLY HAVE NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE WHEN 3 DROPS OF WATER ARE ON THE WINDSHIELDS AND CAUSE 12 WRECKS ON THE WAY TO WORK. Maybe I’m bitter. I’m not sure if I’m more upset about the weather or the idiots that are on the road during bad weather. Then again, the same idiots are on the road being idiotic when we have hot, sunny, and humid weather.

I just want one day of decent weather. Mid 70’s, a bit of a breeze, sunny in the morning, with a few clouds after lunch. A short afternoon shower followed by a cool breeze would bring it all together. Just once a year. But that won’t happen.

And as long as I’m complaining, this is not a post directed at global warming, or flat earthers, or whatever dumb reason people think I may be complaining about. We’re having shitty weather, I don’t like it, and I feel like the world needs to know.

So there you have it.

Also, sorry I haven’t written in a while, I’ve been busy and a lot has been going on. But I’m back to writing at least one post a day starting today. You’re welcome.

Stay classy, and I’ll see you at the next stop.

The Blizzard: Part 2

The Midnight Writer strikes again. For those of you who didn’t read my last post, I ended it by berating flat-earthers, because they are idiots. Yesterday, I was enjoying a tasty Blizzard from Dairy Queen and trying to suffer through the conversations I could hear from the high school kids near me when, out of nowhere, one of them brings up the theory of a flat Earth.

Let me begin by saying that these kids don’t actually believe the Earth is flat. They only discussed it. Asking questions, even dumb ones, is how you learn and develop opinions and ideas. So, hats off to them. Could’ve been a bit quieter, though.

Anyway, there is a growing number of people that believe the Earth is flat. Not round, but flat. Contrary to any and all scientific and visual proof that has been presented, these morons have even created an organization called The Flat Earth Society. It’s real and they have recently held a large conference.

These people have many theories as to how and why the Earth is flat instead of round and spherical. Most have come to the conclusion that the Earth is a flat disk surrounded by an ice wall floating through space. In case that doesn’t sound stupid enough to you, some flat-earthers believe that space isn’t real. Some don’t even believe in gravity. That should really tell you all you need to know.

One guy in particular actually spent twenty grand building a homemade rocket to launch himself high enough in the air to try to see if there is a curvature of the Earth. This rocket of his blasted him about 1,900 feet into the air before parachutes were released and he came back to earth, though his head was still in the clouds. Funny thing about being propelled 1,900 into the air is that the curvature of the Earth can’t be seen until at least 35,000 feet. So, that was pointless.

I’m sure Darius Marley, the writer and audiobook narrator (check out his page if you get a chance, he’s great to read and listen to), would agree with me when I say that anyone can come up with an asinine opinion about something, especially with little to no research, and call it law. Everyone wants to be a part of something and jump on the bandwagon.

If there are any flat-earthers reading this, you are entitled to believe whatever you want to believe. And feel free to fight me on this, if you think the Earth is flat, then I bet you’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud? The Earth is round, I can’t sail off the edge of the Earth and fall into space, which apparently isn’t there, and gravity keeps my Blizzard in it’s container while I eat it.

I’m tired of seeing these morons on TV, in magazines, and on the internet. The theory of a flat Earth is idiotic. What’s that? The world needs to know about the massive worldwide conspiracy that the Earth is round and you want to spread the truth of what we’re too blind to see? Get off the cross, we need the wood. Dumbasses.

Stay classy, and I’ll see you at the next stop.