The Deathbed

My significant other is sick. She has a fever. It was 101.6. Then a couple hours later it was 102.7. Now it’s under 100. This all took place over the course of 8 or 9 hours. So clearly she’ll be dying soon. That’s right ladies, this guy will soon be on the market. Take a number.

That was a joke. Except for the sick part. She really thinks she’s dying even though she’s pretty much all better.

She texted me while I was at work and I dropped what I was doing to rush home and start the funeral arrangements. I walked in and there she was. Sickly, pale, sweating (surely not from the sweatpants and blanket she was under), so weak. She called me over with a tiny voice. I sat with her, rubbed her feet kept her warm when she was cold, and cooled her off when she was hot (which is always). I even ran to the store, Walmart of all places, to grab some stuff sick people need when they think they’re dying.

She’s pretty much just been lounging on the couch, relaxing, and watching TV with me. It’s been a great evening. We had to cancel some plans, but there will be time to fix that down the road. We’ve had a busy week, haven’t slept much, and a lot has happened. So, I guess she deserves a reprieve. Unfortunately, she’s sick during the reprieve. Sucks to be her.

All jokes and sarcasm aside, I was worried about her, got her all fixed up, she’s doing much better now, and just needs to sleep. A lot. So she may not be dying today. But when she is I’ll be right next to her waiting on her list of Walmart items. You know, because of love and all that jazz.

I hope the day never comes that she truly is truly on her deathbed, at least not in my lifetime. She’s too awesome for anyone to not get to experience her presence.

Anyway, I’m tired and I need to get her showered and in bed.

Stay classy, and I’ll see you at the next stop.

The Stray

I’m currently in the Rio Grande Valley for work. It’s an interesting community and culture with a lot to offer, and a lot to stay away from. While I was on a site, I saw a medium-sized dog lapping up water from a muddy puddle.

I’ve mentioned before that I love dogs. I’ve also mentioned recently, yesterday, that I’m dying, from the plague, which is actually just the flu, and I’m a baby. So with the combination of my love for canines and my weakened state from my illness, you can imagine how I felt for this dog. I had a break while my tests were running, so I called the poor little guy over. Of course, he came right over, anything for the hope of a scrap of food. As he sauntered closer I noticed his ribs were showing and he had no collar. He was covered in fleas, extremely malnourished, and mastered the whole sad puppy eyes thing.

While I’m contemplated how I’m going to sneak this dog in and out of a hotel every night and take him with me on the road every day and love him and protect him and care for him forever, he caught a whiff of something and wandered off to another place. Clearly a one-sided relationship. It was never going to work between us anyway.

Now for the serious part of this. How the hell do people do this to dogs? Or animals in general? If you’re going to neglect your pet, then you don’t get to have a pet. If you can’t handle a pet in your life, then you don’t get to have a pet. If you have a pet and I see it on the side of the road with no collar drinking water out of a muddy puddle and his ribs are showing, then you’re a piece of shit and I’m going to call you out.

Take care of your animals. Do your research before bringing one into your life. You should know ahead of time if you have the time and resources for a pet. Animals deserve better and you don’t want the trouble that animal neglect can bring you. Also, how hard is it to just be a decent human being? Have some damned compassion. I can’t look at other people’s pets without making super annoying baby sounds in my head that I’m sure the animal would love. So have a heart. Animals need all the love they can get and they need it from us. If I can figure that out while my insides are leaking out of my nose because of this stupid flu, then you can figure it out on a good day.

Stay classy, and I’ll see you at the next stop.

The Plague

Well there’s nothing to report from the road today. I woke up around 4 this morning to get ready for another wonderful and productive day at work and was shocked to discover that I am deathly ill. It should also be known that I’m an adult man, and that I’m probably exaggerating my unfortunate and likely soon demise. Turns out I have the flu and I’m a giant baby.

I very rarely get sick, because I’m awesome. But when I do, I’m certain that I’m on my deathbed. Again, giant baby, as most men are when they are sick. So we have another short post today. I’d take medicine, but it rarely works for me and I’m super stubborn. Unfortunately, I’m stuck in Pleasanton, TX at a hotel since I happen to be in the middle of work. Lucky me. Now I’m not only going to feel like death for the rest of the week, but I’m going to be several jobs behind while I try to catch up.

Also, I don’t sleep much, and being sick makes it worse. So I’m exhausted. Time to catch up on my binge-watching. Tomorrow will be a better day and I promise to have something better to share with y’all. If I don’t die because of this plague that has been bestowed upon me first.

Stay classy, and I’ll see you at the next stop.