The Blizzard: Part 2

The Midnight Writer strikes again. For those of you who didn’t read my last post, I ended it by berating flat-earthers, because they are idiots. Yesterday, I was enjoying a tasty Blizzard from Dairy Queen and trying to suffer through the conversations I could hear from the high school kids near me when, out of nowhere, one of them brings up the theory of a flat Earth.

Let me begin by saying that these kids don’t actually believe the Earth is flat. They only discussed it. Asking questions, even dumb ones, is how you learn and develop opinions and ideas. So, hats off to them. Could’ve been a bit quieter, though.

Anyway, there is a growing number of people that believe the Earth is flat. Not round, but flat. Contrary to any and all scientific and visual proof that has been presented, these morons have even created an organization called The Flat Earth Society. It’s real and they have recently held a large conference.

These people have many theories as to how and why the Earth is flat instead of round and spherical. Most have come to the conclusion that the Earth is a flat disk surrounded by an ice wall floating through space. In case that doesn’t sound stupid enough to you, some flat-earthers believe that space isn’t real. Some don’t even believe in gravity. That should really tell you all you need to know.

One guy in particular actually spent twenty grand building a homemade rocket to launch himself high enough in the air to try to see if there is a curvature of the Earth. This rocket of his blasted him about 1,900 feet into the air before parachutes were released and he came back to earth, though his head was still in the clouds. Funny thing about being propelled 1,900 into the air is that the curvature of the Earth can’t be seen until at least 35,000 feet. So, that was pointless.

I’m sure Darius Marley, the writer and audiobook narrator (check out his page if you get a chance, he’s great to read and listen to), would agree with me when I say that anyone can come up with an asinine opinion about something, especially with little to no research, and call it law. Everyone wants to be a part of something and jump on the bandwagon.

If there are any flat-earthers reading this, you are entitled to believe whatever you want to believe. And feel free to fight me on this, if you think the Earth is flat, then I bet you’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud? The Earth is round, I can’t sail off the edge of the Earth and fall into space, which apparently isn’t there, and gravity keeps my Blizzard in it’s container while I eat it.

I’m tired of seeing these morons on TV, in magazines, and on the internet. The theory of a flat Earth is idiotic. What’s that? The world needs to know about the massive worldwide conspiracy that the Earth is round and you want to spread the truth of what we’re too blind to see? Get off the cross, we need the wood. Dumbasses.

Stay classy, and I’ll see you at the next stop.

The Blizzard: Part 1

It’s finally starting to heat up in Texas. I’ve got a nice farmer’s tan just from this last week of work. I’m drenched in sweat before 10:30 in the morning. I’ve even had my fair share of daydreams about pools and oceans.

This time of year also means Dairy Queen is going to take all my money in exchange for all the Mint Oreo Blizzards I can eat. There isn’t enough discipline in the world to keep me from a tasty treat like that. Workouts and diets be damned. The Texas Stop Sign takes my heart every time. Also, Dairy Queen is an Illinois chain that somehow made it’s way to the lovely state of Texas, so I’m not sure how it got that nickname. Especially with Whataburger being such a staple.

To make another clear, Frosties from Wendy’s, Blasts from Sonic, and any shake from Whataburger don’t hold a candle to a Blizzard from Dairy Queen.

So, 3pm rolled around. I decided it was time to take my sweat-drenched and tanned-up-to-the-middle-of-my-biceps arms out for a Blizzard. Lucky me, just in time to get in line behind 7 high school boys that just got out of school for the day.

Now, I get excited about a Blizzard just as much as the next guy, but not so much that I can’t figure out what kind I want. I’ve been eating the same type of Blizzard for the last 20 years. These kids took 8 minutes to figure what they all wanted. ALL 6 OF THEM. If you’re in line, start looking at the giant fucking menu in front of your face. It even has pictures!!

I’m not saying they were being childish. I’m 31 for crying out loud and still haven’t figured out that I don’t have to eat a Blizzard so fast that I get a brain freeze EVERY SINGLE TIME. But, come on. There were people behind you. I know you all knew there was a line behind you. Have some respect.

Anyway, I devoured my Blizzard. I got a brain freeze. I judged high school kids. I went back to work. The world kept turning. On an axis, like a sphere, because the earth isn’t fucking flat.

You’ll have to tune in tomorrow to see what that’s all about, because the conversation those kids had made me lose faith and hope in some things.

Stay classy, and I’ll see you at the next stop.

The Midnight Writer

Seems like I have a problem.

Nothing interesting or noteworthy happened at all today on the road. It’s midnight and I have nothing to write about or share. On top of that, I can’t sleep, as usual. So, I’m wide awake, have nothing to discuss, and promised to put up a second post. Quite the conundrum I’ve gotten myself into.

It did managed to get up to 90 degrees earlier today. That was nice. I love the heat, nice and humid. Nothing better than hard work on a hot day to make a man feel accomplished. I can’t say the same for the stand-still traffic in the middle of the 2 hour drive to the hotel. Could’ve done without that. But I made it.

It’s taken me 20 minutes to write this small amount, and that’s embarrassing. I think it’s fair to all of us if I just stop right here.

Enjoy the springtime heat. Drink plenty of water. And as sure as Jesus has got sandals, tomorrow will be packed full of adventures to entertain you with in my next post.

Stay classy, and I’ll see you at the next stop.

The World Wide Web

Well I didn’t get to write a post yesterday. I got to my hotel, ready to write, no internet. Turns out that my hotel, which boasted a wonderful high-speed wifi presence, didn’t actually have internet of any kind. False advertising at it’s best.

This meant no writing for you guys. No work email, personal email, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, or even browsing out of boredom. Of course, I could have used my phone, and I did for a bit. But writing a full post wasn’t an option.

Turns out I’m one of those ppeople that takes the internet for granted. You don’t realize how much you depend on it until you’re out in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do. Everything closed at 8:30 at night, including restaurants. That put a wrench in me wanting to get a post out every single day.

I plan on writing 2 posts today to make up for it. Hopefully my internet tonight will suffuce, or even be present. Otherwise, I’ll power through on my phone, just for you. You’re welcome.

Try not to take things for granted like I did. And definitely try not to rely on them. I know we all rely on the internet for work, school, and personal reasons. Some even have an addiction. But if you can’t make it through life without something as fickle as the World Wide Web, then you have some bigger problems to work out. Remember, the internet is a fairly new tool in the history of the world, and no-one wants to go back to dial-up.

The internet is a tool, nothing more. You don’t need it, it’s just a bonus. Appreciate it and don’t rely on it. It can even get you in trouble. That being said, I’ll be writing another post in a few hours for you. Stay tuned!

Stay classy, and I’ll see you at the next stop.

The Sonnet

The rain came today, I welcomed the change
of weather from the heat that dried my soul.
A hard day's work in mud and muck found me
thirsting for replenishment: casserole!
Lunch at a cafe was what I needed
to fill my aching stomach. Broccoli
and cheese with rice and chicken took me back
to work with a brand new ferocity.
My afternoon passed without adventure
and the rain washed away any chance of
safety on the road. I saw a billboard
reminding all travelers of Easter.
So make sure to grab your Easter bonnet
and enjoy the holiday. Um. Sonnet.

Stay classy, and I’ll see you at the next stop.

The Blog

Well, I’ve managed to write 10 posts now. This will be my 11th. Those of you who have been following along or have read my first entry (The First) know that I made a commitment to write at least 1 post a day. I realize that 10 days is not long, but considering how crazy my schedule is and that fact that I’m not a big writer, I’m pleased. And you should be too. Feel free to applaud quietly wherever you happen to be reading this. I’ll wait…

When I started this blog it was mostly to get some things off of my chest about the things I see and think about on the road. So far it’s been a success. I get a handful of new followers every day and a fairly decent amount of page traffic for just starting out. Now that I’ve been doing it for a week and a half and now that I’ve done some exploring and reading of other blogs, I think I want to make an effort to monetize it. My goal is to start doing this after my 20th post. Don’t worry, no one needs to put up any money or anything like that. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who has to pay for a bunch of stuff.

Seeing as how I’m new to all of this and have no idea what I’m doing or talking about when it comes to blogging and making a profit out of it, I’m going to invite my readers/followers to comment and email me on some ways to get started. I’d love to hear from some of you that have your own blogs and are currently earning from them. Any pointers and help will be greatly appreciated. The reason I’m going to you instead of doing a ton of internet research on monetizing blogs (don’t worry, I’m doing that as well) is because you have first-hand experience. Part of the reason I’m writing this blog is to keep everyone included in the day-to-day goings on of my life. I’d like to develop a close relationship with my readers. Some of you I’ve known for years and some of you just started following today because you found one of my posts in whatever category you happened to be looking at just then. All of you are equally important. Except for you, Mom. You’re the most important. But don’t tell these guys.

Anyway, please comment or email me (michaelhowell0188@gmail.com, I’m sure that’s somewhere on my page) with any ideas. I’d also like to thank all of you for sticking with this little venture of mine for the last 10 posts and would like you to keep it up. For my new readers, I promise these get a lot more interesting. Once again, thank you, everyone.

Stay classy, and I’ll see you the next stop.